New

  • Yard Toilet

    A recent craze in fundraising consists of leaving an unwanted item in a front yard and requesting cash for its removal.  Over the last few months uglY cOUsin headquarters has been the lucky recipient of a bright red school desk and an orange toilet. The extortion note was similar for each:  $10 to take it

Most Important Thing in the World

  • malted milk mix

    L wanted chocolate malt powder to put on some vanilla ice cream the other day.  We allow ourselves an indulgence every so often, and the memory of sprinkling malt powder over the top of ice cream—enjoying the slight crunch of flavor on the initial bites and then being treated to chocolate creamy milk at bowl’s

Or is this the most important?

  • I’ve been following a Facebook group dedicated to collecting and making obvious comments about what they consider to be the “worst album covers ever.”  There are some gems, for sure, but most fall into one of these categories:  singers trying desperately and unsuccessfully to capture the style of the moment (usually in the 1970s), religious

News that Matters

  • mothman attacks bunny

    Avid uglY cOUsins will remember the recent breaking news about bad bunny parenting in my backyard.  Here’s the rub:  bunny parents abandon three-week old babies in various backyards so they can get back to their party lifestyle.  They probably don’t feel any guilt since they read a bunny parenting guide that tells them delivering them

Timmy’s Ugly Culture

  • cat sleeping in vines

    From the moment we arrive, we notice the presence of cats.  They seem well fed, and they stroll and lounge everywhere. We even saw one sleeping in the vines above our doorway, enjoying a little tropical cat hammock.  I am reminded of the Colosseum in Rome where cats peek out from every ancient crevice. There

Ugly Stories

  • united states of generica

    Jerry decided not to drive the extra five minutes to reach the home he had left that morning.  Instead he pulled into the first empty driveway he saw on Woodstream Terrace.  He was hungry. The house looked pretty much the same as his anyway.  When he opened the front door, he noticed the furnishings were

Unsolicited Advice

  • Dear YouTube:   I have meant to thank you for the advertisements at the beginning of your videos for some time now, but forgot to do so.  Please forgive my oversight.  I was going to tell you that without your help, I wouldn’t be able to learn five seconds worth of information about products I

Herbite Church Bulliten

  • Herb told me once that he wanted all descriptions of him to include references to the season and weather of the day being recounted.  “I’m part of my environment,” he said.  “I want to be a line in a haiku–not the elementary school exercise of counting syllables, but the real deal.”  By “real deal” I

Beach Essential Reading

Basement Archeology