Grapes are the M&Ms of the fruit world.  Put them in a bowl and they are impossible to pass without sampling.  Just one.  Or two.

 

She read the world away and hated it when anyone yanked her back.
“Whatcha readin’?”
“Nothing now.”
“You know, of course, that I’m not legally responsible for what I do within fifteen seconds of being startled from reading.”

 

If I invented an animal it might have a turtle body and a snake head–but not just a head that looks like a snake.  Turtles already have that to a certain degree.  They look like a less sinister, grumpy snake with their down turned turtle lips and all.  My turtle would have an entire snake hidden underneath the shell with the ability to shoot out, like two or three feet.  So, you walk upon the turtle and pet it maybe and then insult its slowness.  It glances up at you.  You chuckle.  Then, bam.  It shoots out and bites your face.  That’s comedy.

 

Questions regarding cats:  Why are cats so tired?  Do they have an active dream life?  Do they operate in another dimension?  Can a cat imagine another purpose for me entering a room than to serve him?

 

Supermarket sadness:

  • He had six cans of stewed tomatoes and used the occasion of the lady in front of him’s low milk placement on her cart to ask if he could help her with it and then explain his lactose intolerance.

MEANWHILE:
Keith suddenly realized that he had hung all the mirrors upside down.

A Scene from TinDiggers:  The Movie

Movie about girls going after people with jobs to support them/their kids. not gold diggers.  much less.   like tin.  like those places that advertise:  you got a job?  you’ve got credit.  older guys on dance floor with them.  one tells the other that whatever the guy does, just imitate it, mirror it.  floor filled with people doing crazy dances.  one decides not to, but to grind.  one girl says “dillions” to mean a lot.  one conversation person tells her that isn’t a word.  it isn’t an amount, she says.  the person tells her the word for a lot of money is gazillions or zillions.  you think that one word that doesn’t really mean anything is better than another?  one girl says she will settle for mcmillions–enough money to take her kids to mcdonalds once in a while.

WORD OF THE WEEK:  From our friends at Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

Monachopsis:   The continuous feeling of not fitting in, being out of place.    We’ve got it.