Author: Ugly Scott

We are referring, of course, to the little suction deal that dentists hang in the side of your mouth to pull out saliva and bruise the skin on the inside of your cheek where it gets stuck while they insert four fingers and a power saw into your mouth and ask you how your day […]

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squirrel and crow fight for nut

We’ve been feeding the squirrels.  This has led to some squirrel on squirrel crime—mostly petty theft and minor assaults.  Thought there are plenty of peanuts to go around, some are greedy and want to have more nuts than their neighbors (and even more than their children). The two trees on the corner were squirrel territory.  […]

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Paper sack mask

You probably don’t remember me, but I was Larry the stinky kid in second grade.  Maybe you thought my name was simply stinky kid and didn’t even know I was Larry.  I hated Halloween. I lived in a cinder block house on the highway with half-buried tires along the perimeter of our drive.  We used […]

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einstein thinks too much

You think too much. What a strange insult.  How can someone noticing that you think be insulting?  I recommend considering it a compliment if anyone says this to you.  Thinking is a good trait.  I learned that at school. Perhaps no phrase expresses our societal aversion to thinking better than this one.  Thinking, since it […]

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F

Don’t get me wrong.  We here at uglY cOUsin love our swears in all of their colorful varieties.  We enjoy purging our bile with angry swears, peppering our mundane observations with unnecessary foul language, and even amusing ourselves with new swear combos.  In many conversations we find ourselves in, swearing is a signal that you […]

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