New

  • Yard Toilet

    A recent craze in fundraising consists of leaving an unwanted item in a front yard and requesting cash for its removal.  Over the last few months uglY cOUsin headquarters has been the lucky recipient of a bright red school desk and an orange toilet. The extortion note was similar for each:  $10 to take it

Most Important Thing in the World

  • malted milk mix

    L wanted chocolate malt powder to put on some vanilla ice cream the other day.  We allow ourselves an indulgence every so often, and the memory of sprinkling malt powder over the top of ice cream—enjoying the slight crunch of flavor on the initial bites and then being treated to chocolate creamy milk at bowl’s

Or is this the most important?

News that Matters

  • squirrel begs for nuts

    We’ve been feeding the squirrels peanuts.  They have corn and nut feeders in the yard as well, but the peanut feeding is a training exercise, a hobby, an amusement.  We sit on the porch a few times a day, make a sucking/clicking sound to draw them in (as close to squirrel language as we know),

Timmy’s Ugly Culture

  • One of the perks of the all-inclusive experience is the access to a delightful and exotic sources of food.  One might envision finely dressed couples, she wearing pearls, he, hair gel, choosing from a buffet fit for kings and high rollers.  Ah, the fresh, local fruits and finely prepared dishes.  How can one choose between

Ugly Stories

  • pancreatic enlightenment

    My pancreas developed consciousness last week.   I’m sure last week was just the end of a long process of self-discovery, but I didn’t sense the baby steps. If I could stick a mirror in my guts and my pancreas had eyes (and maybe that will come soon), it would recognize itself.  I don’t know

Unsolicited Advice

  • Fordite

    Before we get any further, you should know not to follow my investment advice.  I invented the Buy High Sell Low (Trademark pending) method of retirement planning.  A worst seller’s list Self-Hindrance book is forthcoming.  Still Fordite is cool, and you might want to get some or look at some or think about some just

Herbite Church Bulliten

Beach Essential Reading