New

  • Culled with Loving Hands from a Long-forgotten Drawer The weeds are out shopping for homes.  No one will let them buy.  The real estate agents pretend that the good-school neighborhoods are open to them, but they know better. The first step in making things fair around here is to invent a new fair language. Because

Most Important Thing in the World

  • ugly cousin flag

    uglY cOUsin doesn’t listen to the prevailing wisdom that a website has to be “about something.” We live in a category called “doesn’t fit.” Even so, the more we think about what we are and what we aren’t, our interests and our disinterests, we do find meaning to the term we’ve chosen to represent our inability to fit in (on the Internet, within contemporary society, when normal conversations are taking place around us–anywhere). The term uglY cOUsin has room to grow as others of you adopt it and add to its definition. We welcome any additions. Ugliness is a coat of many stripes.

Ugly Stories

  • cat asleep

    The cat follows a dotted line only it can see.  It has its own route to everything.  It hates to walk directly anywhere and by its actions thumbs its nose, if it had a thumb, at the old adage about the fastest route being a straight line. It rubs the wall with its side and

News that Matters

  • Thousands of babies were slaughtered over the weekend by the hands of gods, an event foretold over 2000 rings ago in the Tree Bible. According to the prophet Bertula Glandulosa, there would come a time when weeping and great mourning would be heard in the land of maples.  A maple mother would refuse comfort because

Herbite Church Bulliten

  • Herb Sonic, the pizza man, was a holy man I met years ago in Boulder, Colorado.  His faith in uncertainty and the uncertainty of his faith captivated me, so I began recording our conversations.  Here is another of his pamphlets.  We previously published his pamphlet on gum in urinals.  There you go.   DARE TO

Timmy’s Ugly Culture

  • We watched the new Eddie Money reality show Real Money on AXS TV partially out of a sense of duty to a friend of ours who really likes him.  Frankly, I think the main reason our friend is a fan is that his last name is Karrin and he has, for a lifetime, had fun

Unsolicited Advice

  • Dear Gas Company: Remember when I owed you like 20 and you cut off my gas?  You own me 347 for overpayment on this year’s “budget plan.”   You know this, because you wrote me to tell me you would be sending a check within 90 days. I’m confused.  I didn’t have 90 days.  I know